Goodbyes Are Bitterweet

After one year, I've experienced more than I though possible. Pain, suffering, and death. But more importantly friendship, learning, and love. 

Caring for people who are simply hours away from meeting their Maker has changed me. I love pictures and things to remember moments in life by. I try to cherish every moment I have on Earth, because you never know which breath is your last. I try to tell those I love that I love them as often as I can in hopes that they never forget. And I try to love everyone, because we are all suffering in some way. Caring for others is a unique opportunity, one that I am so so grateful to have experienced.

I've learned. And learned and learned and learned. I've learned that some people cope with pain by being rude, and others cope with tears. But I've also learned that no matter how much pain they are in, a hug and a smile can make it at least a little bit better. I've learned how to be patient, because the older you get the slower you get. And holy cow, sometimes those darling old people just can't help but take their dear, sweet time in the bathroom. I've learned how to have a great poker face when cleaning someone up. I've learned medical stuff that no one else wants to know.

But I think the greatest thing that I've learned, and experienced, and felt was love. I have grown to love my residents. I love their wisdom, their laughs, their stories, and smiles. I love their teasing, and personalities. I love the way we connect, and I love the way they love me back. They are more than just patients; they are FAMILY. 

Saying goodbye was one of the hardest things I've done there. A goodbye after recovery was a happy kind of sad, and a goodbye right before death was a heart wrenching kind of sad, but some of the hardest goodbyes were yesterday. Saying goodbye to those residents who would come find me and tell me I was on the wrong section when I wasn't their aid. Or to those who would tell me they loved me even though they have dementia. The goodbyes to those who really cared about me, and whom I love dearly, those ones hurt something fierce. 

I will never, ever forget these people.