Intolerant, Not Allergic

"I'm not actually allergic, I'm intolerant."

I can't even begin to tell you the number of times I've corrected people with this statement. And I can tell you the three types of responses I always get. 

"Oh, I know how that is, my friend has Celiac's Disease."
"So, you can eat dairy you just don't like it?"
"Oh, well that sucks."

Let me tell you, dear reader, that none of these are appropriate response, but thanks for trying anyway. Being intolerant (or sensitive) to foods is not the same thing as being allergic to foods or having Celiac's Disease. Being intolerant means that your body can't digest part of the enzymes in the food, ie lactose in dairy or gluten in wheat. In allergies, there is an autoimmune response, meaning the body basically attacks its self when you eat these foods. This is the very simplified version, but you get my point.

So, when you say you know how that is because someone you know is allergic, you don't. And just assuming that they say that because they don't like the food is also wrong. And yes, it does suck. I would know because I have to deal with it, I'd rather not have you remind me that it sucks.

So, what do you say? Try something like:

"What is it exactly that you can't have? I'll try to remember that."
"What are you favorite things you can eat?"
"Tell me more about it; I want to avoid those foods when I'm around you."

Why are these so great to say? They don't make you feel isolated. It already feels bad enough not being able to eat things and they make you feel like your tastes are still important. They make you feel like a person, and not just a symptom. MORE MORE MORE

Living with food intolerances is hard. There aren't very many outward signs that you had something bad to eat. Unlike getting hives, you'll just often have bad pain, nausea, vomiting, or diarrhea. Sometimes people just assume that because you don't have to have an Epi Pen on you, that means it doesn't matter if you eat it or not. And sometimes it doesn't feel like you really have an issue with food, because you are the only one who really knows your pain. But, it is real, and you are 100% okay in feeling it.

It's discouraging to go to the store and see delicious things that you can technically have but will just make you sick. Is it worth it? And sometimes you feel as though the pain is worth it just so you don't feel so out of place. 

Going to restaurants is great, just not as great when you have food intolerances. Sometimes it's a guessing game if you can eat anything there or not. And when people want to get stuff and share it, it's hard not to feel bad about making them eat your different stuff. And it's hard when you just want to be like everyone else and eat the same things.

But, DO NOT EVER FEEL BAD ABOUT NOT BEING ABLE TO EAT THINGS! You shouldn't have to feel sorry about your body; it is not your fault that you have this to deal with. Your food intolerance is just a little part of you, and those people who truly love you won't be bothered by it. And those people who refuse to listen about it, you don't need in your life. 

And when you go to a party that has food already planned, bring a surprise dessert that you can eat. Not only will it make you feel included, but you'll be able to show everyone that not everything that you eat tastes bad!

I know it might seem silly, and you might not feel like you have a right to feel so down sometimes about your relationship with food, but it is okay. We all have those moments. And if you need to cry for a moment in the store because you are just so dang hungry and can't find anything that won't make you sick, CRY! You don't have to hold in your feelings. You aren't the only one; YOU WILL NEVER BE ALONE!